Birth Family search

Dad and Mom

Being adopted has hardly affected my life, except when the dr.’s ask “Do you have a history of…blah blah blah…in your family?”  My first response is to say yes, my family has a history of…., but I have to stop and answer the question in regards to my Birth family, which I don’t know anything about except CF is in their genes.  This repetitive question has led me back on a search I started when I was 18.

California is not playing when they say “closed adoption.”  Closed, meaning the ORIGINAL birth records are sealed, literally and figuratively.  To “unseal” the records, a formal written and notarized request that is COMPELLING and shows necessity of the information in the record must be sent to the Superior Court.  IF they feel the request shows validity, then they MAY allow a VIEWING of the record. If they do not allow a viewing they usually will provide non-identifying information for the seeker, but not the identifying information like the names of the birth parents. 

I thought having a GENETIC illness would be compelling enough considering I’m still alive and when I was born I had a death sentence of 12.  BUT, I learned when I was 18….the judge was not hearing it.  I found some non-identifying information in my searches, but nothing solid and nothing that would lead me to my birth family.

This search is not to invade my birth families lives or leave my family.  I do have the desire to learn about my heritage and show them how far I’ve come and thank them for their decision.  How do I do that without invading their lives?  How do I do that without the names of my birthparents?  

I’ve written a brief compelling letter to the judge asking to open the birth record.  What is compelling anyway?  Am I trying to make them cry? Laugh? Smile?  Should I sound desperate, eager, scared or threatened by death?   The directions do not give any hint as to what is a valid reason so my letter is a 4-sentence paragraph that paraphrased, goes something like this;

“I’m dying.  My dying wish is to find my heritage and share my story of life living with CF.” 

OK, so it’s a bit extreme, but TRUE…right?!  No I’m not on my deathbed, but I’m not getting any younger!!!  CF is GENETIC and the only souls on this planet that I’m related too and are passing on the genetic code are my birthparents…and their relatives and kids etc. 

CMON Superior Court!!!!!  Wish me luck