Cough Cough Cough......Cough

Cough cough cough

Some people can only remember me as one who coughs while there was a long period of my life that I didn’t.  Now, I have a cough that people recognize from across the room, and I’m still not used to it.

Coughing is hellof annoying for me more than any other human (besides those who share my issue) could possibly imagine.  How would you like to try and hold your laugh knowing a coughing fit is 100% to follow the joke?  Try eating a meal and having a coughing fit trying not to spit your food all over the place.  Even better, just randomly coughing when sitting in a movie theatre without the ability to STOP coughing.  ANNOYING!! 

I started a new job and my cough is an issue.  I work with a Dr. and two nurses and they don’t know I have CF.  I haven’t volunteered the information even though they have questioned my cough, asked if I’m being treated for it and even made comments on how to fix it.  It’s no simple thing to get a job and have to explain “I have CF, “ after you’ve been hired and working.  Especially after having dodged the questions by saying, “I was sick and still have this residual cough.”  My boss, who is a Dr., was shocked when I said they took a sputum culture, stating, “it’s not normal to take a culture in outpatient clinics.”  At that moment, I was about to spill the beans as to not make her continue and end up making her feel like a fool later, but I bit my tongue and pretended like I didn’t know any different.  AWWWW.   It is a new challenge for me to have to explain my cough to my employer.  It has never been an issue and I do not know how to approach it.  I do not want to be seen as a liar, but it doesn’t affect my job performance so coming outright when I’ve only been there a month doesn’t seem needed.  Not too mention the cough is random and never happens in the treatment room.

At my other job in hotels,  my cough attracts every type of healer, physician, therapist and joe shmoe to inquire and offer advice.  When I cough, they each feel the need to tell me they have the cure to my cough.  No dairy, no wheat, no cooked food, no processed food, no sugar…blah blah blah.

2 weeks ago at my hotel, I had a Chinese lady, who is a Dr. from China and practicing here, ask me about my cough.  She asked how long I had it, what color was my mucus, if I had asthma and lastly, if I had tightness in my chest.  She was sincerely interested and concerned so I answered all the questions.  She said “Stop eating sweets and swim.”  RIIIIGHT….  I gave her a sheet of paper with “Cystic Fibrosis” written on it and asked her to do some research and then make a new suggestion.  She returned last week with a very serious face to explain she did her research and was very concerned.  In a very thick accent, she explained that exercise was VERY important, and that having chronic illness meant I need to have a regular care program and that regular herbs would be very helpful.  She also was very serious when she said, “sometimes antibiotics MUST be taken for serious infections.”  She also offered to meet me next week at work, take my pulse, which in Chinese medicine tells them a whole shit load of information western Dr.s give you expensive tests to figure out.  Then she would like to make herbs for me to take for a week and we go from there.  My own acupuncturist(sp?) has me on regular herbs that have helped greatly and I see no reason why she would be against me hearing what this other woman has to say.

As one who rides public transport, I encounter so many “joes” who think they have a cure or fixall for my cough.  Sure, their suggestions come from kindness, but sometimes it is too much.  I am not the only CFer who hates the lame ass comments that come when we cough in public.  Even my friends give me look when they hear outsiders chime in.  This is what I here on a regular basis;

Lemon and honey will fix that!...IF ONLY!!!!

I just got over that…..NO YOU DIDN’T!

Can I get you some water?...Sure, but I might spit it all over you.

Do you have Swine Flu?....NO

Get up and move seats.

Don’t die on me…..That’s POSITIVE…Thanks

And then I just cough cough cough again…

I was at the Genius Bar (that’s the APPLE store for you PC’s) waiting for my appointment.  I cough.  The lady next to me backs way given me the evil eye.  I cough again.  She then rushes towards me gesturing with her arms around her face saying “cover your face like this when you cough!”  I was calm…and responded by saying “ I did cover my face.”  She says “ NO….you need to do it like this.  That sounds horrible and we are all germaphobs!”  A little annoyed I said “ would you like to know why I’m coughing or are you just wanting to fire directions at me?”  She says “ NO, I don’t care, just cover your face like this.”  SIIIIGH….And then I just coughed…uncontrollably..but purposely in her direction, for the next 2 minutes.”  I watched her suffer in pain not wanting to leave her computer.  Then said “excuse me.”  I Sat right back down next to her and started typing.  Bitch.  Excuse my French, but really…I wanted to hack loogie on her keyboard.  If I’d have seen her in the street, I might have spit in her path.

I am working on filtering my reactions to such moments, but at the end of the day, it’s all about ignorance and education.  When a comment comes, it’s my job to educate.  If they deny the opportunity to hear what I’m saying, it’s their fault they remain ignorant.

I’d love someone to offer me a tissue and a hug.